Divorce and Child Custody

Divorce doesn’t come with a step by step guide book when it comes to finding out who gets custody of your children. And although you may find a lot of DIY books, articles and blogs over the internet which you can refer to, these are all just general interpretations of what you should expect when fighting the battle of divorce and child custody.  Nothing will ever compare to the experience of being in the court and discussing the terms and conditions of child custody agreements as well as the provisions of the divorce itself. Since you want to be prepared and capable of dealing with the ups and downs of the case, the best path to choose is to contact a family law attorney who can be considered as an expert in handling cases on divorce and of course child custody. 

One of the most important part of any divorce proceeding would be the discussion of who gets to be appointed as the custodial parent and who will be paying for a monthly child support. And because of this, you have to hire the best lawyer possible to make sure that your children stay with you and not with your husband or wife. To be able to do this, your lawyer should explain the basic facts of child custody, all of which you have to remember by heart. The first being, you must rely on the court to decide on whether your child or children get to stay with you or your spouse. Since the court will be taking full responsibility of the decision making process, you and your lawyer will be able to save your children from feeling guilty and from being forced into a situation that will require them to make choices. Of course the family law will be interpreted or implemented based on where you are located, so you have to work with your lawyer on this. He needs to make you aware that your divorce and the custody of your children will be finalized based on the laws that your state exercises.  But one thing is for sure, the family court will carefully study your case before any verdict is released. If you have more than one child, your legal counsel should stress out in court that they should not be separated from each other to avoid further traumatic experiences.

During your divorce proceedings, the issue of who gets the custody of your child would be highlighted and rest assured, you and your spouse will be placed under a microscope to help the court decide which parent should be awarded the right to take care of the children. And while your petition to have your marriage dissolved is being reviewed, you should also discuss and formulate the child custody agreement, which your lawyer should, as much as possible be able to help you settle things in a civil manner. As a matter of fact, there are several mistakes that you and your spouse can commit when fighting for the custody of your children. The first one would be taking your case to court without hiring the proper divorce attorney. It is always advisable to come prepared for whatever legal matter you have to go through, because you will never know how things would go. You may notice that your lawyer would always give you a heads up with regard to how you will behave in court and towards other people. Showing your rage and throwing a fit in front of the judge would not make you look good, and this could possibly cost you the custody of your child. Never lie to your lawyer about the details of the divorce and child custody claims. Again, it will not do you any good if you start accusing your spouse of child and spousal abuse. What you need to do is to open up to your lawyer and truthfully discuss every single detail that led to your separation and your quest to get sole custody of your child.

Like filing for a divorce, determining child custody depends on several factors which will be carefully studied and analyzed to help the court decide what is best for the children. A competent lawyer would let you in on these legal standards which include your ability to communicate well with your spouse during the divorce proceedings and at the same time if you and your ex-spouse can agree on things that involve your children. Of course, it would also be a plus if you show that you are genuinely willing to take over the responsibility of taking care of your kids. And while it is important that you have a good relationship with your ex, it is also a must that you have a very strong bond with your children, because at the end of the day, it is their future that you are trying to secure here. The court will also give value to your child or your children’s preference, in terms of who they want to stay with. Aside from personalities and relationships, your locations and actual living conditions will also be analyzed to see if it would be safe for your children to live with you or not. And then there’s the matter of providing for your children, which means that you should have a stable job and a consistent flow of income to send them to good schools, have food on the table each and every time, and to secure that they stay healthy and happy despite the emotional challenges that your divorce may entail.

Remember that divorcing couples should never ever take for granted the fact that even though they are trying to relieve themselves off their marital responsibilities; it doesn’t mean that they should also neglect their responsibility to work things out with their children. Reaching a mutual decision will make sure that your child or children’s best interests will be put first. And whether or not you get sole custody of your children or end up sharing the responsibility with your ex-spouse, what matters is that you have survived the divorce without sacrificing the happiness of your children.